The TERFers Go To Chicago
by Jade14
Summary: The girls of The ER Fanatic Society (TERFS) go to Chicago and see the effects of their deranged fics.
1. Part 1 (Jade14)

Body **The TERFers Go To Chicago **

By: The TERFers from The ER Fanatic Society. To join, go to www.geocities.com/brenda_d165082000/index.html 

Part 1 by: Jade14 

" Well, its not my fault you ran after that Dave lookalike!" ILoveMalucci glared at me as I survayed her cut. She had gotten it chasing after a man who looked just like her favorite ER guy, Erik Palladino. We were on a trip to Chicago filming a documentary for a NBC contest telling why *we* were the ultimate ER fans and deserved to be on the show. Tori thought it would be a good idea to travel to Chicago during our Spring Break and film the real Cook County General Hospital. ILoveMalucci and I agreed, and after a long car ride to Illinois, here we are!  


" It looks like you could use stitches." ILove Malucci shrugged.  


" Oh, well. We were going to the hospital anyways. And we're only a block away." Everyone nodded, and we went on our way.   


Maybee I should tell you more about us, before you begin reading our unbelieveable tale. It all started with a Round Robin Fan Fiction Game at fanforum.com, and it just went from there. I first posted the round robin fic game to write a funny ER fic with other fans. Tori started out on the fics right away, and helped me and a bunch of other people create a funny story. Half way through the first part though, everyone but me and Tori had dropped out. The fic was all our own. Okay, so maybee we should have kept the men of ER straight, and kept a gay bar out of County General, but how did we know ou deranged fanfiction was affecting the entire city of Chicago?  


Whoa, Im getting ahead of myself. Im going to start at the begining. My name is Jade14, and I am the President of The ER Fanatic Society. My website used to be called Jade14 Online, but I changed it. So sue me. The TERFers are a bunch of people (well, only three actually, but that could change, the sites only been open for one day) who write fanfic about ER. And its not your everyday fanfic. Its pretty weird. All by ourselves we are sweet girls, kind to the ER charaters, and we never write humor. But together, The TERFers are a different story. We change the titles of our fics from Let it Snow, and Angel In The ER to things like 'Benton Looses His Bitches', 'Whose Bitch is That?', and 'The Cook County Gay Bar'. Our enemys are Cleo and that evil Frank guy, and our loves are Carter, and Dave. Well, one day, Timeo (the moderator at fanforum.com) said we couldn't swear anymore. WHAT!!! Saying "Bitch" was the basis of our entire story! We continued the story by replacing 'Bitch' with 'Boy' until fanforum.com gave us another blow to the head. We were not allowed to copy and paste the entire story after each post anymore. We had to write each line seperately. Now this really pissed us off. Do those people know what a pain in the ass it is to copy and paste each line *after* the story is done? We were not going to sacrafice our story to the rules of a forum. So we had to move the fic game to keep it alive. I created my own forum with this cool Ultra board from homepagetools.com, and I asked Tori and ILoveMalucci to join, and TERFS was born.  


Anyways, we heard about this 'Be a guest star on ER contest' that NBC was sponsering, and we just had to enter. So we decided to come to Chicago. And thats where the trouble began. Allright, back to the story.  


We were headed to the hospital in my car ( which was painted scrub-top blue). Tori was in the back seat, typing on our laptop, and ILoveMalucci was in the front seat, videotaping her cut hand and telling the people on NBC that "no one but a hard core ER fan would injure themselves to chase an Erik Palladino lookalike." Her words were so honest, and sacraficing her hand to have a look at the lookalike certainly was a brave feat. If any of us should be the guest star, it should be her.  


It was when we pulled up to the front of the hospital, that we all gasped in horror and shock. Instead of the familiar neon light that said "Emergency room" over the front door, there was a huge bright purple light that said " The Cook County Gay Bar". 

TBC 


	2. Part 2 (Tori)

Body The TERFers Go To Chicago 

by: Tori 

Well, between you and me, Jade14 is a little off in the story. She'd knocked back one-too-many Cappuccinos with a little added 'unidentified substance' (to give you a hint it has 5 letters and rhymes with Chodka) along the way to remember the fine details. But I'll let it slide. She gave you the basic run down- we love ER, we're freaks, so naturally a road trip to Chicago was the next practical step. 4 "Super Cappuccinos", 5 pit stops, and 6 hours of radio hell later (Dude, Bon Jovi? Whatever IloveMalucci.) we pulled up to the hospital. Now actually, when we pulled in, I wasn't paying any attention. I was furiously typing away at my lab top, documenting every aspect of our journey, for you fine folks at home. And downloading Noah Wyle pics of course. Mmmm…Noah Wyle. Wait, what was I saying, oh yeah, the hospital. So I wasn't aware that anything was awry until I heard IloveMalucci and Jade14 gasp. 

"What did Jovi retire?" I said not looking up. But then I realized that I wasn't that lucky and that's when I saw it. COOK COUNTY GAY BAR in bright purple letters. So after I sat there mesmerized by the glowing lights for a few minutes it hit me. "What the hell is that!" I yelled. "Man not so loud!" Jade14 yelled and grabbed her head. Apparently the "Super Caps" were wearing off. We all scrabbled out of the car and stood at the entrance. "I don't believe it." IloveMalluci said. "This can't be happening. Can you believe it Tori? Tori? Tori..what the.." Jade14 said and turned back. "Damn it woman, can't you tear yourself away from those pictures for 2 bloody seconds!" She yelled at me. "Um, no!" I yelled from in the car. So after they dragged me kicking and screaming from the car, we locked up and proceded inside. And let me tell you, things were very, very different. 

The place was a mess. There was a mob of people complaining in chairs about there not being any docs around. Most Trauma victims had croaked and anyone that needed stitches had already done it themselves by that time. What could keep the doctors away from their life's work we wondered? Then we heard it, faintly at first and then it grew. "…believe in MIRACALES. WHERE YOU FROM, YOU SEXY THING? YOU SEXY THING YOU…" The music was coming from Trauma 2. IloveMalluci had the camera rolling as we made our way over. "Wait, there's Cleo!" I said, pointed toward the corner. "Where?" Jade14 asked. "Oh, false alarm, it's just a coat rack." We made our way to Trauma 2, but nothing could prepare us for what we saw. 


	3. Part 3 (Jade14)

Body Part 3 

by: Jade14 

Okay, you could believe Tori's part of the story, if you were also a crazed Noah Wyle fan who pops little blue pills to keep awake and look at pic of him all night long. I think its safe to assume you are not. And for your information, I only had *one* super cappachino. Im jsu a cheap date, and get drunk quickly. Okay... back to the story. 

So we were standing there, ILoveMalucci with her camera rolling, in front of Trauma one. 'Sexy thing' had just stopped playing, and we could hear cheering as 'YMCA' started up. 

"OMG." I said. 

"But...but that's our fic!" ILoveMalucci said, almost dropping our camera. 

"No shit Sherlock." Tori said, popping another pill. I took her by the neak and started to shake her. 

"Do you know what this means!" Tori just looked at me. ILoveMalucci said: 

" ER IS REAL!!!" Tori rolled her eyes. 

" It is not." I looked at her. 

" Then why are Erik Palladino and Noah Wyle rollerskating on a disco floor in Trauma two?" 

" Whoa! You can see that too?" 

" Snap out of it Tori!" I shouted. All of the sudden, 'Bad Medicine' by Bon Jovi started playing. Tori fell to her knees and screamed. 

" Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!" ILoveMalucci and I skipped into the Gay Bar as if in a trance, and started moshing to 'Bad Medicine'. 

" GIRL YOUR LOVE IS LIKE BAD MEDICINE! BAD MEDICINE TO CURE MY DESIEASE!" I was spinning around and moshing when suddenly I found yself in the arms of That Evil Frank Guy. 

" Hey baby." He said. " New in town?" 

" EEeeeeeeeekkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk!!!!!!" I screamed in horror and ran out of the Gay Bar. Tori caught me halfway out. She had earplugs in her ears to keep the transfixing Bon Jovi music out. 

" What happened?" she asked. 

" Oh Tori it was so awful! That Evil Frank Guy touched me and... OMG!!!" 

" What?" I looked back at the Gay Bar and said quietly: 

" ILoveMalucci is still in there!" 

Next... 


	4. Part 4 (Kovacsgirl)

Body Part 4 

By: Kovacsgirl 

Whoa! Hold it! Okay. So, I got to Chicago a tiny, itty, Bitty bit late, so sue me. I was very busy in Russia, working on foreign correspondence for Chico DeMille Inc., my company. Stupid Horatu_13 decided to take a *minibreak* as Bridget Jones would say. But that's beside the point.   
  
I'm Kovacsgirl, a new addition to TERF. Not much to say about me, so I'll skip that boring stuff. Now, back to our story. 

So I'm totally lost, looking for the hospital, which is really weird, 'cause I live in Chicago. Maybe it was dissecting cats before this all began. So, when I finally FOUND the hospital, I was shocked right out of my boots by the "COOK COUNTY GENERAL GAY BAR" sign. This was strange. So I walked in. "Sex Bomb," by Tom Jones was playing. That reminded me of Cherry Coke Thief's Evgeny Plushenko obsession, and that was freaky. 

"Tori? Jade14? IloveMalucci? Anyone?!!" I yelped, glancing around. It looked like a poorly done WW2 movie, and was very scary. As if I wasn't freaked out enough, I caught Erik Palladino and Noah Wyle break dancing in trauma two. 

"Oh, I found you!" IloveMalucci announced, running up to me. 

"Where is everyone else?" We chorused at the same time.   
  
"Got me," she said. "Where have you been?" 

"Russia, looooong story," I said. 

"SEX BOMB, SEX BOMB. BABY, YOU CAN TURN ME ON!" 

"Join us!" Romano shouted over the music, grabbing our wrists and pulling us into the first exam room. He was wearing tight leather pants and shirt.   
  
"We're in so much trouble!" I screamed, when I saw what was in the exam room. 

TO BE CONTINUED!!!!! 


	5. Part 5 (Tori)

Body Dude, No-Doze saved my life. How else could I stay up to the wee hours of the morning, downloading pictures of the sexy Man-God Noah. Mmmmmm…sweet, sweet Noah. Ghahghghgl…*wipes drool* Ahem, oh yeah, story…. 

  
So Kovacsgirl arrived just in time to see Yosh pop out of a large cake, with nothing on but a sash that said 'World's Greatest Nurse' on it. We quickly diverted our eyes, except IloveMalluci, who was filming her little heart out. We watched the rhythmic dancing with equal parts of awe and disgust. Just then I felt it affecting me. "What was that?" Jade asked. "What?" I said innocently. "That thing you just did with your hips." she replied. "I didn't do anything." I said. A few minutes later…."See! You just did it again. You were swiveling your hips!" Jade said in a tone of accusation and horror. "I wasn't I…I…Oh screw it! I'm getting my groove on! Later bitches!" I yelled and joined Erik and Noah in their rhythmic roller-skating. Where I got skates is an insignificant detail at this point, plus it's kind of a blur, so I don't really know. Now the others will tell you that I went crazy or that I got caught up in the action. A blant lie that one. NOT true at all. It was all part of a well thought out plan to get closer to the stars you see. To get the inside scoop. Ahem, yeah. Things get a little fuzzy after this, so I'll let one of the others take over now. 


	6. Part 6 (Jade14)

Body The TERFers Go To Chicago Part umm... 6 (I think) 

By: Jade14 

Okay, so there we were, watching Tori get her groove on to a new Bon Jovi song 'Captain Crash and the Beauty Queen from Mars' , and we knew she had lost it. I grabbed Kovacsgirl by her elbow and ran out of the Cook County Gay Bar as fast as I could. We were running like mad through patients, bloody drunks, and a green dog. 

" What the hell? Wait a minute!" Kovacsgirl and I stopped, and just looked at the green dog. 

" What?" Kovacsgirl asked me, with a confused expression on her face. "Its just a dog." 

" It's just... oh, well. Nevermind." I started to walk the other way, but Kovacsgirl stopped me. 

" No! What is it?" I sighed. 

" This is going to sound stupid, but..." 

" Spit it out Jade!" 

" That dog looks really familiar!" She started laughing. 

" What, an old boyfriend!?!" We started to go at it, then all of the sudden we heard: 

" Shut up you bitches!" We both froze. 

" Who said that?" I asked, looking around. 

" It was me!" 

" Who?" 

" Down here!" We looked down and saw the green dog, talking to us. I looked closer. 

" Dr. Greene!?!" Kovacsgirl gasped. 

" Holy sh!t!" The dog spoke again. 

" Yup. After I died of that stupid brain tumor, The Powers That Be reincarnated me as this green dog. The only way I can go back to the after life is to break up Carter, Benton, and Dave and get the hospital back to normal." He shook his head. " But as you probally guessed, I can't do that as a dog, well, at least not alone. Will you girls help me? You started this mess in the first place." I looked at the dog...err...Dr. Greene, and then at Kovacsgirl, who was still standing in shock staring at Dr. Greene's new form. 

" Err...Dr. Greene, we need a moment alone." He nodded and bent to lick himself. We looked at the hidious display for a moment, then turned away before we barfed. 

" What do we do?" Kovacsgirl asked me. I thought for a moment. As much as I wanted to just get out of there, I knew this was our best chance to get Tori and Malucci'sGirl back. Also, Dr. Greene was right. We made this mess, now it was time to clean it up, and get the hospital back to normal. I looked back at her. 

" Let's do it." She smiled. 

" Cool." We both went back to Dr. Greene, who had since finished licking himself, and told him the news. He barked happily. 

" Great! Come along. If you step through my old locker in the lounge, you can enter my secret lair." Kovacsgirl and I both shrugged, and followed Dr. Greene down the hall. 


	7. Part 7 (Kovacsgirl)

Body The TERFers Go To Chicago 

Part 7: Kovacsgirl 

Jade 14 and I glanced at each other. It was going through the locker or having to put up with this little "greene", mean dog. 

I sighed. "Okay, where do we go?" 

The little dog smiled, that is, if a dog can smile. "Come with me." He led us into the Doctor's lounge, the only place where it looked barely normal. "Here you go," Mark - the dog - said, pointing to his locker. "Just go in and---" 

Jade 14 and I though, weren't really paying attention. 

"OMG! It's Carter's Locker!" 

"It's Luka's Locker!" 

"Dave's!" 

"Ohhhh!!!" 

"EXCUSE ME!" Mark yelled. 

"Are you sure you're not Kerry?" I asked. 

"NO!!!!" 

"Okay! Man, don't go ballistic on us…" 

Mark was about to scream again when Jade14 grabbed my arm and pulled me into the locker. Mark ran up to the locker and put his front paws on the bottom, looking rather cute for a "greene" dog that was a moment ago ready to kill me. 

"Wait! I never told you---" 

Too late. The inky vortex of the locker. It kinda reminded one of something from "Harry Potter." Or a black hole. Take your pick. 

"Where are we going?" I yelled. 

"I don't know?" Jade14 yelled back. 

Before we knew it, we where flat on our backs in what looked like the same Doctor's Lounge. 

"Damnit," I muttered. "I knew this would never work." 

"No, wait. If this is the same place, then where is Mark?" 

That would have been about the time that a little "greene" snout would have popped up and said "under you" but there was nothing. 

"This is weird. This would be about the time Mark would say 'under you.'" Jade14 got up. 

"I just wrote that." 

"You did?" 

"Yup. Look up." 

"Oh, there. Never mind then." 

"I never do." 

We dusted ourselves off, and peaked out of the lounge. We could see Luka and Abby walking into the hospital, Kerry yelling at Dave… 

"She can't do that!!" Jade14 tried to run to Dave's rescue. 

"Hold on." I grabbed her shirt, keeping her from running out of the lounge. "I think I get the problem." 

Jade14 glanced back at me. "What?" 

"Due to our crazy fics, reality and…whatever you want to call that were switched. We need to switch it back…But how?" 


End file.
